The Reframe: Everyday Talk

"Sharpening the saw” from Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has value in describing what happens when we attend to, learn, or relearn because it beckons accountability. In the case of reframing our way of communicating, we need to look at the nature of how we talk, daily. A dull set of tools won’t be optimal so we need to sharpen the saw and check our perceptions to clarify.

Lingering long in the “learning zone” lets us discover “what matters most” as we evolve and bring ourselves to “taproot” alignment.  When we “reframe” in this way, we learn new ways to understand ourselves and each other.  We become more attuned to what we say, how we listen and when we might revisit the skills of clear, concise communication.  

Why reframe?

Reframing our communication styles and practices is vital. While we may not be called into the arena of “public speaking” about which we are famously afraid, our everday talk could use some attention. Many of us can remember a time when we had an idea and fear kept us from sharing. Or maybe we summoned the courage to speak, but felt ourselves turning red, heard our voice tremble and became aware of cold, shaking hands. We might recall losing the thread or rambling—failing the task of making an impact that would change our world in some small way. We may have “lost it” and instead of sharing our idea, we felt our temper rise. Perhaps we became the blamer, defensive, losing our point and not hearing anyone else’s ideas clearly. 

Everyday talk has the occasional dazzle of a wedding toast or speaking before an audience. The notion of an engaging, concise presentation also deserves our time and attention. We need not be dismantled by I can’t though a popular answer to "your number one fear” is public speaking (even more so than death and a house fire).

You're not alone

Many people feel that speaking in front of others is terrifying. In my years as a public speaking teacher I have seen, and heard, the signs. It has kept some folks from staying in a school where that was a requirement.

I've also seen victories.  Many victories. People got up. They found their voice and spoke clearly. They completed the class by putting some of that fear behind them. If you encountered a real threat and were given the chance to negotiate to prevent it, you would summon the courage? When the moment came, wouldn’t a concise, confident, clear persuasive message sound like a way to reframe your fear and carry on with your life?

Turning Feeling Into Action

There are some assignments in life that come under the “feel the fear and do it anyway” banner. For your life, for the lives of those you love, or in a more likely case, for something you truly care about, fear takes a back seat.

Audre Lorde said it best, “When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, it becomes less important whether I am afraid.” If you have ever let a good idea die because you were afraid to open your mouth, Everyday Talk  may be a good place to start to turn that around. In this workshop, you'll have the opportunity to learn solid skills that will help you set aside your fears and communicate your ideas. And it may influence the change you’ve been wanting to see.

Whatever the occasion, where you find yourself shaking like a leaf, it may be time to reframe, and take that journey from fear to confidence.

With love,

b